New Years Wrap-up
I suppose it's that time of year again. Repetition based folks such as myself have to undergo the painful retraining process learning to write (or type) "2008" instead of "2007". Strangely, because this is an "even" year, I'll have an easier time remembering. I can't explain it, but I'm sure someone with a lot more time on their hands certainly could.
Mall Atrocious
I hate malls. I hate gift cards. I don't have the testicular mass to tell everyone I know to stop buying gift cards to the awful stores in the mall. I'd rather have a gift certificate to Bob's House of Lizzards than a computer-tracked gift card from Scamps.
The mall stores have awful selection, super-rude customer service (particularly during the holidays), pathetic sales and security measures that make your experience frustrating. In our jaunt out yesterday, I was put off enough by the lack of product selection and rudeness of the employees at Lloyd Center Macy's that I simply didn't buy anything. I'll just hang on to my gift card… oh wait, they already have someone's money for that gift card! They don't give a shit if I use it or not. They actually make good money if I don't. Funny – gift cards have turned into something of a banking operation. You put down hard cash and are given a debit card. You can use that to buy in the store until you're out of money on that card. The difference? I can't pull my money back out of that debit card in the form of cash. Bullshit. It seems to me that gift cards should be subject to the same rules, regulations and insurance requirements of commercial banks and credit unions.
Resolutions
Every year, I put together a list of no less than 10 highly attainable or unattainable resolutions (depending on how good I'm feeling about things). This year is no different. Seeing as how I'm already setup for lots of challenge this year at work and home, I think I'll set the bar low this year. So, here are my resolutions for 2008:
10. Spend more time drinking champagne in the Hot Tub after work.
9. Buy at least 2 local CD's throughout the year.
8. Read at least 1 fiction novel.
7. Write and record at least 1 new song.
6. Remodel 1 room in the house.
5. Sell all the old equipment I don't use anymore.
4. Obtain an Elliptical trainer and finish the workout room.
3. Use the finished workout room for working out rather than wrapping presents and storing crap.
2. Cook more meals at home – at least 80% of all meals!
1. Take 1 completely unplanned and spontaneous weekend vacation this year.
Wow. Those are a little too honest and real. Let me try this again so that you, the reader are entertained (at least slightly):
10. Lure the neighbors into the hot tub for late night skinny dipping. Once everyone's in, turn on all the lights and yell "You're on Candid Camera!"
9. Walk into a mall CD store, declare loudly "There isn't any music here! This is all crap!" and storm out.
8. Pick up the last Harry Potter novel, read it backwards chapter by chapter. When complete, pickup the second-to-last book and so-on until I've read the entire series in reverse.
7. Convince Virgin records that I'm the next James Blunt, record some kick-ass grunge music and watch record exec sob uncontrollably.
6. Hire a crew of undocumented, illegal aliens to remodel my house completely, and on the last day before they get paid, call immigration and have them deported.
5. Post all my old camera gear under "Casual Encounters" on Craigslist and see how many perverts email back asking if the ad is for a nude photo shoot.
4. Buy cheap workout machine, put in workout room. Never use it, claiming that it's "too cheap and might break".
3. Move a random piece of furniture into the workout room every week until someone notices. Claim poltergeist.
2. Cook more meals at home. Make them so awful that Betsy demands we eat out more often.
1. Purchase two tickets to Egypt. Consider staying. That way, when people ask "Where do you live?" I can say "BFE" and actually be correct.
Observations
2007 was a great year for me, but for much of the world, it was pretty shitty.
I fully expect Gee-dub will pull some sort of "try-to-make-the-democrats-look-like-morons" move that backfires.
I expect someone to open fire on a TSA official with an Air-Soft gun in protest of the new draconian/fear-factor rules (no, I'm not volunteering).
Gas should hit $4.00/gallon this year. Talk about switching to the metric system will start.
Someone in congress will die an ugly death that will be tied back to global warming by the media.
Everyone's cell phones will be out for a day during massive solar flares (again, blamed on global warming by our brilliant national media).
Donald Trump will go bankrupt again and nobody will care this time.
Recommendations
Buy stock in IP v6 technologies. Everyone will be forced to upgrade in a few years.
Build that bomb shelter you've been considering. If nothing else, it will be a great discussion piece in a few years.
Write letters (not emails) to your grandparents, parents any anyone else that you don't live with. They will appreciate it.
Mail yourself a copy of your most recent visa receipt for Gas at the beginning of the year. Store it in a safe place. Show it to your friends in 10 years – nobody will remember or believe you when you tell them that a litre of petrol was under $1 at one time and was measured in "gallons"!
Ditch the text messaging. It's gay. If you can't pick up the phone and talk to someone, then it's not worth saying and you're just wasting someone's time (and racking up their cell phone bill, putting more money in the cell phone companies pockets).
New Yearingly: Gregsta'