Bets’ and I finally visited the IKEA Portland location (which opened about 6 days ago). IKEA is sweedish for “you will spend at least $100 before you leave”.

Someone was telling me that the four letters in IKEA represent the names of the 4 farmers who started the company.

We have Forefathers. Sweeden has Four Farmers. Tee-hee.

I must be delirious from assembling furniture…

Svedishly,
Gregsta’

Friends, Family, Country-folk. I bring you the first (and likely last) Gregster All Random Thoughts Revue! Performance Art? Barely. Cunning lingual composition? Hardly. Entertaining? On the verge, yes. Drum roll please……

Rodents are sacred creatures that should be protected by a new act of Congress, known as the "Animal Rectal Insertion Protection Act of 2008".
Simply put: Some freakazoids out there get a thrill out of shoving innocent little animals up their, well, you-know-what. We must send a clear message that this sort of behavior will not be tolerated. Small creatures are being victimized unnecessarily. End the suffering.

Vehicles Should be taxed by the actual output of pollutants
Any vehicles should be equipped with a sensor that detects the levels of bad things that get pumped into the atmosphere and measures how much is being expelled. The data is the transmitted, via Satellite and a bill is sent on a monthly basis to the owner for their emissions. Non-complying users would be notified and given 30 days to comply or else face criminal charges.

Video Conferencing should have One Standard: Work
This still baffles me. Why the hell does there have to be so many different ways to make video conferencing work? Why can't everyone's system talk to each other simply? Greed, that's why. Time to put Polycom, Tandberg and Cisco in their place and make everything work together.

Electric Lawnmowers Rule
I just bought one, and I love it. No gas, lightweight and cheap. Did I mention it has enough torque to launch a rock from the front yard right through a window across the street? I didn't? Good. Don't say anything to my neighbor. I don't know anything.

Cat puke sucks
I've got at least 2 piles of it somewhere in the house at any given time. I must find a way to train the cats to hack their business in the litter box. Where's that cattle probe…

That's all folks. Join us next time for another Gregster All Random Thoughts Revue!

Revuingly,
Gregta'

I installed a hit counter on this site over the weekend.

It just confirmed without a doubt that there are only 5 people who read this website.

I had deep hope for more visitors, but alas – nothing.

Spread the love. Spread the Domino Effect™.

Gregsta'

I'm procrastinating. I have work to do.

Proc'ingly,
Gregsta'

My sushi lunch date canceled.

I had Itallian food instead.

I might cry.

Sobbingly,
Gregsta'

Bets’ and I hit up Putters for the first time in more than a week last night. After the kind of day I had yesterday, it was needed. My “day off” turned into my “day to fight the man”. I’ll spare you and yours to ugly details that will only serve to make you wish to move to another country.

Note to Self: Should you ever decide that eating fried food at 8:30 at night is a good idea again, I would like to remind you of the stomach pains you will endure the next day. Remember that you don’t eat crap like that anymore and your system can’t take it. Crasshole™*.

Off to work way too fucking early.

Gregsta’
* The term Crasshole™ is Copyright 2007, Bets’. Used with permission. All rights reserved. Patent pending. For more information on Crasshole™ and other soon-to-be-popular sayings, visit our website at www.popsayingsyoudon’tevenknowyet.com.

A day off. In the middle of the week. No commuting downtown. No getting up to an alarm clock and pounding coffee all day. What do I do? Who will I go see? Will my shoes still fit?

FUDingly,
Gregsta'

I'm not normally one for bowling or any other quazi-sport that's been glorified as a PWT activity by Hollywood.

Bowling is a strange beast of a game. It's neither easy nor difficult, uplifting nor depressing. It's somewhere in between fun to play and a pain in the ass. It's the type of game that requires a seasoned masochist to play more than once every few years.

Needless to say, I found myself at the AMF 300 lanes off of Powell rolling 12lb balls down the waxed floor with my co-workers last night. Every other frame was an personal embarrassment. If it didn't hit the gutter, I threw the damn ball high enough that it made a thud when it hit the lane. Can I get in trouble for that?

I'll be back. I'm determined to put a hole in that damn floor. That'll show 'em.

Masochistically,
Gregsta'

In at 7:30 again this morning. Super productive this morning.

I'm already filling my schedule for my new "day off" – Thursday. Go figure, right?

Bowling tonight with co-workers. Apparently a bunch of them get good and loaded at these bowling games.

I can't wait.

Gregsta'

I've managed to get into the office at 7:30 this morning. My goal is to make it till 6:30 and then go home. 10 hour day, baby! I do 4 of those this week and I can take a day off without cutting into the vaca'!

Weird dreams last night. Ever since I got this new matress, I've been having really violent dreams involving automatic firearms, lunatics that vaguely resemble former co-workers and vehicles I sold many years ago. What are they putting in these new beds? Maybe it's the new pillows… Maybe I'm just crazy from going to bed late and getting up early.

Back to the "work computer"…

Gregsta'