They Really Suck…

I hate to vacuum. I would rather pay someone to do it with the money that I use to drink and buy dinners with Bets’. Okay, perhaps not the money I use to drink.

As far back as 2005, I was really curious to see how well this Roomba thing worked. I’d seen the ads on TV and in magazines and even heard a few people gossip about them. I couldn’t understand how a machine with a logic board and only 4 buttons could single handedly (or single beater-baringly) clean an entire living room without missing some pretty big spots. The thing doesn’t have any sonar sensors to scope out the room or memory to keep track of how much of the room it’s covered. It uses fuzzy logic to figure out how to clean a room.

That Christmas, I bought one. The old model, on sale, the last one at Linens and Things. I paid less than $180 for it and in no time, found myself anxious to get vacuuming.

Miraculously, the thing sprung into action and cleaned the entire downstairs living room without missing a spot. I was in shock. It really does work. Over the next year, I put it to work weekly cleaning up after the cats and my boots.

The only problem with the Roomba is the maintenance that’s required to keep ‘em clean. Even with all the advanced technology on these things, they still clog up like a normal vacuum cleaner. I spend an innordinate amount of time cutting out cat hair and emptying the dust bin.

This year, for 2006, I purchased a new roomba. This one can be scheduled to run automatically. So, the scheduler works downstairs daily on its own and the old one works upstairs on command.

How geek is that? Two robot vaccum cleaners. I feel like I’m in the middle of i Robot. At some point, the Roomba Scheduler is going to start glowing red, back me into a corner and declare martial law on my ass.

Next Time…
New Year Resolutions
The Good, The Bad, and the Unattainable…

The short-lived holiday vacation is officially over. I’m now plunged back into working at the office. I’ve got enough to do to keep a small army busy, but I manage to get it all done (with some help from my consultant). I’ve discovered that the best thing about a 8:30-5:30 job is that I can go home at night and not worry about if I’m going to work or not the next day.

IT people (that’s what I do) have a weird existence in the corporate world. We exist, essentially, to plug businesses into Technology (or vice-versa, depending on your company’s disposition). That can mean a lot of different things. Today, I relearned the value of thorough testing and discovery. I’m trying to install a very intricate Helpdesk Software system to help us with our day-to-day IT support requests and project tracking. There’s a few bugs that are keeping it from being 100%, but it’s really close to being done.

It’s 6:10 and I’m still at the office, rockin‘ out the Loverboy on the Sirius radio. Going home soon….

More to come later when I’m back at home…

Gregsta‘

Okay, I admit it. I was a little harsh in that last post. Nobody should take that personally (nor any of my posts). Observation and subsequent deliniation can be quite dangerous.

Let’s be honest. We all love being handed cash and told “spend it however you like.” Spending is what any corn or cornflake raised American loves to do. The messages from retailers fill our heads and lead us on in our Lemming-like quest to consume.

Alas, a new currency has arose as the new black in gift giving: Gift Cards. These clever little plastic (sometimes paper) drafts give you the right to spend a predetermined amount of US Dollars at a predetermined retailer in a predetermined amount of time (that’s right – most of them expire eventually!).

What a great idea! Get someone a gift card for their favorite restraunt, home supply store, electronics store or online music retailer! It takes all the potential shame out of not getting someone the perfect gift. All you have to know are simple attributes about the person you’re giving to – Do they like to eat? Do they own a house? Do they need a new electronic widget of some kind? Would they enjoy buying music online?

Okay. This is where my value system may conflict with yours. Viewers discretion is advised.

Gift Cards are about as thoughtless, weak and irresponsible as you can get.

Thoughtless because you can’t take the time to get to know someone well enough to figure out what they might like or accept the fact that you don’t have a goddamn clue.

Weak because you fear the disappointment of someone not loving your gift more than their first born child.

Irresponsible because $5.8 billion will go unspent by consumers this year by means of gift cards. Why? Because cards get lost, unused and eventually expire.

I’ve got a great idea! Why not give people small gifts from the heart. Heck, why not make something yourself. Why does everything have to be purchased at the store? Be creative rather than consuming.

If you can’t think of something that someone would like, give them cash. That’s right, cash. For all you know, that might help them get through the tough times – like buy lunch or groceries – things they really need. Think of cash as a US Mint Gift Certificate – Good ANYWHERE in the US!

Let’s stop giving $5.8 billion a year in profits to the big box retailers in exchange for some flimsy plastic cards that never get used. Let’s stop treating cash as a bad gift. Let’s write checks for those loved ones in far off lands that we just don’t know what to get for.

Does this mean I’m going to go off on anyone that gives me a gift card in the future? Not likely (unless they’ve read this blog). I’ll spend it and enjoy spending it. Will I buy any gift cards for people? Not anymore. Cash seems appropriate if I don’t know what they would like.

Next time…
The first day back to work
Vacation is over tomorrow morning at 8:30am.

Ventilated,
Gregsta’