They call me Gregster

I was thinking this evening about lots of things while I spent some time with my pal Aaron. Aaron, like me is a geek/nerd/dork/whatever. We have a lot in common. Except I don't do D&D. Don't be all shocked at once. More importantly, I was able to hang out with another geek. There aren't many of us left. I cherish the opportunity, as crazy as it sounds.

A little over a month ago, our friend Mo passed away. Suicide. It was sad and we'll never fully understand the circumstances. As time passes and we look back, I think there's a unspoken sadness that lives in all of us who knew her. Most of us knew her fairly well, as she was quite the outspoken and sharing type. Betsy knew her better than I. The point is, not knowing why someone could take their own life like that is maddening. I couldn't even begin to fathom even considering it, no matter how bad life gets. When there's that much of a deep rooted conflict of principals, it's difficult to find any peace in the matter. A month later, I'm no more resolved than I was the day she took her life.

We visited the camp grounds the other day (the "camp grounds" refers to the Apostolic Faith headquarters campgrounds) for a birthday party. It was my cousin (by marriage) Emily's birthday. I'm still trying to figure out kids today. They're pushy, bratty and all around completely out of control. I still can't believe how wound up and out of control all of the other kids were, too. Even the littlest ones were misbehaving and acting like clowns. I love kids, don't get me wrong. I adore them and hope to have several of my own with Betsy. I just hope we're able to bring enough discipline and structure to the party to keep them from being THAT out of control. Perhaps the fact that we aren't bringing them up in a strict, alternative religion will help. It worked for my brothers and I.

I still maintain that life is weird. I'll never fully understand or appreciate the complexities of what causes our lives to be so random, strange and unique all at the same time. I can understand the technical aspects and the big picture, but the "why" component eludes me.

Rambling? Yes. It's 3 in the morning. Time for bed.

Gregsta': Siesta.