What better way to spend a clear, albeit cold, Portland morning than sipping on latte's outside of Nordstroms on the street corner. Hmm. Come to think of it, some indoor seating would be nice. Heat, perhaps.
One of the things that's a good indicator of economic hardship is the number of bums on the street. There are quite a few. Yet, I rarely see the Portland Police doing anything about the problem. Maybe there's no anti-bum laws on the books. There should be.
If I were Mayor...
Portland Statute Addendum #1
Rule 1a: All city street sidewalks, corners and other pedestrian exchanges are for the sole use of pedestrians that move along at a brisk pace. All others must exit the side walk (into the street where they can be hit by cars/lightrail is a good choice). Except where businesses and individuals have paid for a permit with the city, sitting, standing still, putting up any temporary dwelling or structure shall be prohibited. Anyone violating this statute will forefit their right to re-enter the downtown core ever again. Bwa ha ha.
Rule 1b: Panhandling, squatting, posting a sign (including handheld) requesting donations (beer, money, drugs, etc.) is strictly prohibited unless you have paid for a permit. Violators will be thrown into the back of a dump truck and taken to the Willamette river, where they will be dumped for a much needed bath.
Rule 1c: Raising your voice or creating noise about a certain db level is forbidden. You will be dragged into the middle of the square, tarred and feathered. Bwa ha ha.
Rule 2a: You must have a proven IQ of 85 or higher to enter the downtown core. If there is question of your IQ in the future, you can be retested at anytime. Violators are subject to attend 3rd grade again.
Rule 2b: Automobile operators must pay attention to all signals and yield right of way to hybrid vehicles. Tee hee.
Rule 2c: Bicylists are no longer allowed on the roads in the downtown core. Violators will be shoved in lockers, middle school style.
Rule 2d: Pedestrians are to get out of the way of vehicles. The cars have the right of way.
Gregsta': Never gonna be Mayor, sadly...