New Years Wrap-up

I suppose it's that time of year again. Repetition based folks such as myself have to undergo the painful retraining process learning to write (or type) "2008" instead of "2007". Strangely, because this is an "even" year, I'll have an easier time remembering. I can't explain it, but I'm sure someone with a lot more time on their hands certainly could.

Mall Atrocious
I hate malls. I hate gift cards. I don't have the testicular mass to tell everyone I know to stop buying gift cards to the awful stores in the mall. I'd rather have a gift certificate to Bob's House of Lizzards than a computer-tracked gift card from Scamps.

The mall stores have awful selection, super-rude customer service (particularly during the holidays), pathetic sales and security measures that make your experience frustrating. In our jaunt out yesterday, I was put off enough by the lack of product selection and rudeness of the employees at Lloyd Center Macy's that I simply didn't buy anything. I'll just hang on to my gift card... oh wait, they already have someone's money for that gift card! They don't give a shit if I use it or not. They actually make good money if I don't. Funny - gift cards have turned into something of a banking operation. You put down hard cash and are given a debit card. You can use that to buy in the store until you're out of money on that card. The difference? I can't pull my money back out of that debit card in the form of cash. Bullshit. It seems to me that gift cards should be subject to the same rules, regulations and insurance requirements of commercial banks and credit unions.

Resolutions
Every year, I put together a list of no less than 10 highly attainable or unattainable resolutions (depending on how good I'm feeling about things). This year is no different. Seeing as how I'm already setup for lots of challenge this year at work and home, I think I'll set the bar low this year. So, here are my resolutions for 2008:

10. Spend more time drinking champagne in the Hot Tub after work.

9. Buy at least 2 local CD's throughout the year.

8. Read at least 1 fiction novel.

7. Write and record at least 1 new song.

6. Remodel 1 room in the house.

5. Sell all the old equipment I don't use anymore.

4. Obtain an Elliptical trainer and finish the workout room.

3. Use the finished workout room for working out rather than wrapping presents and storing crap.

2. Cook more meals at home - at least 80% of all meals!

1. Take 1 completely unplanned and spontaneous weekend vacation this year.

Wow. Those are a little too honest and real. Let me try this again so that you, the reader are entertained (at least slightly):

10. Lure the neighbors into the hot tub for late night skinny dipping. Once everyone's in, turn on all the lights and yell "You're on Candid Camera!"

9. Walk into a mall CD store, declare loudly "There isn't any music here! This is all crap!" and storm out.

8. Pick up the last Harry Potter novel, read it backwards chapter by chapter. When complete, pickup the second-to-last book and so-on until I've read the entire series in reverse.

7. Convince Virgin records that I'm the next James Blunt, record some kick-ass grunge music and watch record exec sob uncontrollably.

6. Hire a crew of undocumented, illegal aliens to remodel my house completely, and on the last day before they get paid, call immigration and have them deported.

5. Post all my old camera gear under "Casual Encounters" on Craigslist and see how many perverts email back asking if the ad is for a nude photo shoot.

4. Buy cheap workout machine, put in workout room. Never use it, claiming that it's "too cheap and might break".

3. Move a random piece of furniture into the workout room every week until someone notices. Claim poltergeist.

2. Cook more meals at home. Make them so awful that Betsy demands we eat out more often.

1. Purchase two tickets to Egypt. Consider staying. That way, when people ask "Where do you live?" I can say "BFE" and actually be correct.

Observations
2007 was a great year for me, but for much of the world, it was pretty shitty.

I fully expect Gee-dub will pull some sort of "try-to-make-the-democrats-look-like-morons" move that backfires.

I expect someone to open fire on a TSA official with an Air-Soft gun in protest of the new draconian/fear-factor rules (no, I'm not volunteering).

Gas should hit $4.00/gallon this year. Talk about switching to the metric system will start.

Someone in congress will die an ugly death that will be tied back to global warming by the media.

Everyone's cell phones will be out for a day during massive solar flares (again, blamed on global warming by our brilliant national media).

Donald Trump will go bankrupt again and nobody will care this time.

Recommendations
Buy stock in IP v6 technologies. Everyone will be forced to upgrade in a few years.

Build that bomb shelter you've been considering. If nothing else, it will be a great discussion piece in a few years.

Write letters (not emails) to your grandparents, parents any anyone else that you don't live with. They will appreciate it.

Mail yourself a copy of your most recent visa receipt for Gas at the beginning of the year. Store it in a safe place. Show it to your friends in 10 years - nobody will remember or believe you when you tell them that a litre of petrol was under $1 at one time and was measured in "gallons"!

Ditch the text messaging. It's gay. If you can't pick up the phone and talk to someone, then it's not worth saying and you're just wasting someone's time (and racking up their cell phone bill, putting more money in the cell phone companies pockets).


New Yearingly: Gregsta'

IAL

On the recommendation of several people, I went to see I am Legend with Bets' tonight. I think the single most important thing I took away from this movie was a very clear message:

Don't Cure Cancer.

There's a damn good reason (even if we don't know what it is) as to why it's not already cured. Leave well enough alone. It's not going to get everyone, just most of us. It's a slower, less drastic plague than say the Hollywood developed " KV" virus that turns ordinary people into sun-hating zombies. Maybe KV actually stands for Kardassian Veneral disease. After the entire planet has had sex with Kim (or someone who has), everyone dies. I get it now. A fascinating moral story. The lesson being, of course, don't sleep with Hollywood Ho's and don't cure cancer.

You won't see me at Race for the Cure next year! No way. I'm not going to support making zombies real.

Curingly,
Gregsta'

Ho, yo.

This is amazing. It's snowing on Christmas in Portland Oregon! I haven't seen this since I was a child.

Gregsta'

Gotta Believe it...

The holiday season is one that a lot of people tend to dread while others look forward to it. On one side, you have the stressed out, last minute shopping, party hosting ball of nerves. On the other side, the relaxed, got-all-their-presents-in-August guy. At some point, everyone who has ever been to Camp Stress tries to migrate to Camp Joy. Most, unsuccessful. Those who do find it claim to have found nirvana. It's a kind of holiday calm most haven't experienced since sometime during childhood.

Then there are the Camp Insanity people - that is, the folks who stress, procrastinate and finally, just before the big holiday resolve to accept and find happiness in their insanity. These are the people standing in the middle of a room with unwrapped presents, a smile on their face and not a single intention of wrapping anything. "Here kids - find the presents in this room you would like. Daddy will be downstairs with his Coffee Frangelico and Cuban Cigar."

As for me, well. I fall somewhere between all three camps - I bought one present in August, most the Saturday before christmas and my cats are starting to look like good presents to give to the person who doesn't like cats. Don't get me started about Christmas cards...

Wishing you and yours,
Stress, Joy and Insanity,

Gregster'

Lift me up!

Hoopdie Do. Dickery Dock.

What the hell does that mean? Is this 1950's code for "Be on your best behavior you whiny, little  snot-nosed children or else Santa may leave coal in your stocking"? I bet it is.

Well, I guess it's finally here - Christmas. Yep. It's official: I'm off work for the season. I opted to take some serious vacation time to rest up and recouperate. In all honesty, I doubt I'm going to know what to do with myself during this lull. I'll probably end up working on cleaning all the door handles in the house or putting up those light fixtures I bought at IKEA 3 years ago.

For now, I've got to fiinish baking christmas cookies and shopping for gifts. I don't have time for any of it, but I'm going to make it happen anyway.

My Prime Rib Roast test is in the oven right now. I'm trying hard not to salivate on the keyboard. Very hard.

I'll post more in a few days.

Gregsta: Festive as Ever!

What do we have here?

Drink: Raspberry Vodka & Orange Juice.
Ambiance: Betsy studying Medical terms I can't spell.
Pets: Insane. All X-Mas ornaments have been moved up out of reach.
Tasks: Mostly done. Waiting on 2nd wind.
Blog: Neglected; Status Quo met.
Christmas Shopping: Who has time?
Sunday: 16lb Prime Rib. 7 Ribs to be exact. Cronk approve. Unga.
Now: Rescheduling all the stuff I can't get to tonight.
Tomorrow: More meetings than you can shake a stick at.
Thursday: A few more meetings.
Friday: No Meetings. Freedom at 5:30.

Gregsta': To BED!

Manic Monday

Vacation next week. I look forward to vacations. They so seldom happen that I tend to forget that I have the option to take one. Figures. Gotta wrap my mind around the wrapping of presents. Gotta get weaving on some gift baskets. Gotta cart my way to the store to grocery shop for the family dinner next weekend.

But for now, I must attend to work and work only.

Gregsta: OUT

Shop Your Booty Off

I can't believe I've succumb to this Christmas present shopping crap. I bought gifts today. I went to the mall. I feel dirty.

Swabingly,
Gregsta'

Oh my

You know what I absolutely love? My luck. The one time in 3 months I want to go make some money and God pulls out the old Ark trick...

Monday night, WSDOT closed down I-5 due to flooding in Chehalis.

Tuesday, I was supposed to drive North to Seattle to work at the office up there. More importantly, I had signed up for a market focus group that promised to pay me a nominal fee for my presence and participation. That was going to be Holiday spending cash.

What tops all of this is that they were starting a big construction project in the Chehalis area to prevent the flooding from knocking out I-5. Guess they'll have to start over now.

I think my next car will be a Diesel Hybrid Amphibious Vehicle. Can't miss that opportunity again.

Muddy: Gregsta'

Just another day in Paradise

Today is the company Christmas party. This is probably only the second time I've ever looked forward to the party. The thing about Christmas parties is that you should really show up with a date or significant other. Besides last year, I had only taken a date to the company party one other time - and it was nearly a disaster. Every other year it was just me in that same old suit and tie, all alone and feeling out of place amongst the couples in the room. About all I did was get drunk and make passes at my single female co-workers back in those days. I don't miss that one bit.

I finally got the correct docking station for my laptop that features audio and DVI out on the dock. I'm still not entirely sure I understand what the hell the old docking station was supposed to accomplish - 4 USB plugs, Network and a VGA out. That's it! No sound, lock, Parallel, Serial or even a power adapter (I had to buy that myself!). Gay, Lenovo. Gay.

I'm trying to work from home today. Hard to do with all the domestic related chores I would rather be doing at this moment. Oh well. Such is the nature of being a "desk jockey" (as my friend Nate puts it).

Gregsta: Working Hard(ly)