Do you know?

Fact: I'm sitting in my chair at the office on my lunch break typing a blog.

It's the wonderful holiday season. Yep. Time to start buying (or in our case making) presents. Time to turn up the thermostat a few notches. Time to clean up finances for end-of-year.

I just got new glasses and I can see again. I didn't realize I've been blind the last 6 months. Ugh.

Gregsta: OUTTTTTA HERE!

X-Mas Prep

I'm anticipating a crazy-busy Christmas season this year. We made the executive decision this week to prep for the Merry season early. We put up the lions share of decorations and our Christmas Tree(s) this weekend. All that's left now is some gift buying and the lights on the house. I may end up hiring out someone to put them up. Someone with a really fucking tall ladder.

Hung out with Gooch last night. Good times. Got a chance to wind down a little this weekend.

I'm trying to concoct something interesting and funny for my next blog entry. Keep your expectations low.

Gregsta'

Quickly, Batman...

Thanksgiving tomorrow.

Gobble. Gobble.

Thankfully,
Gregsta'

Hell

Do you know what hell is like? I do.

You see, over the weekend, I was stricken with a bizare curse. A curse none other than The Stomach Flu.

Disturbing as it sounds, perhaps the worst part was my inability to fully enjoy the brunch put on by Betsy's family on Sunday.

I sit here now, in my home office trying to recover and keep communicating with the outside world.

Off to the store. Turkey day is coming and I must be prepared. Sick or not.

Gregsta: Gobbled

Mucho Grassy Ass

Up to my eyeballs in work. Fun.

Friday is tomorrow.

I haven't had much to write about, as my life is consumed with work at the moment. I didn't even have time to watch the football game on Monday. Needless to say, I DVR'd it and I haven't had the wherewithal to watch it. It was a big game. I don't know if I can sit through watching it recorded without feeling duped out of my opportunity to watch it live. It's like having to give your candy bar to your little brother, only to be compensated with a breath mint for your generosity.

Minty Freshingly,
Gregsta'

Tis' the Season

I can't take credit for writing this. Bets' wrote it and gave me the okay to post it:

Well the holiday season is upon us. I was in complete denial after going to Fred Meyer preceding Halloween and seeing the Christmas ornaments for sale. I saw the commercials creep up on us and accepted that as an early warning sign. But as I sat here at my desk pondering nothing out of sheer boredom, something red caught the corner of my eye. I intended to ignore it but an old familiar and irresistible scent was drawn to my nose. I turned my head to follow and this thing that I remember some time ago (12 months) was now in plain view.

Yes, it was a Starbuck's cup.

A red, Christmas Starbucks cup. That's it folks. It's all over. They have there little red cups everywhere now spreading frenzy across the world.

Buy stuff, spend lots of money, use your credit card, drink more coffee out of the red Christmas Starbucks cups and get paranoid, maybe even have a heart attack because everyone knows that with that Starbucks Cup comes a donut or two, and it’s Christmas, why not, have another.

Let's celebrate the season by going to the Starbucks down the street and getting ourselves some overpriced coffee in a little red cup and eat some fattening lemon pound cake with it. Yeah, because that’s what Jesus did right?

I mean it only makes sense. Mary and Joseph were hyped up on caffeine. Joseph got paranoid because they couldn't find a place to stay and Mary had Jesus in the stable because the caffeine from that Starbucks coffee sent her into early delivery. Right.

Enough of the Starbucks people. I am looking in a garbage can full of red cups from, you got it, Starbucks. 'Tis the season. Merry Starbucks everyone, and a Happy New Year.

Reak App

Fortunately for me, it's a "Government Holiday". It also means I still have to show up to work and I don't get any "Holiday Pay".

Traffic levels were more like they were back in 2003 today. You know, now that I think of it - if we got rid of the government workers and bankers, we'd solve all of our transportation and ethical issues in this country. Damn I'm a genius!
 
Where's my Nobel prize...

Gregsta': Werkin'

FRIDAY

I can't believe it's Friday.

I'm so happy.

I'm so behind.

I have the worst case of NADD that has ever gone unreported.

Gregsta'

Fitting, ay?

Why is it that I'm compelled to spend my life in front of one of the following:

1. The Computer
2. The Stove
3. The Booze

Shouldn't I be driven to go out and hit the pavement and do something, I don't know - productive? I just can't seem to get past this fear of productivity. If I show too much ambition, everyone will expect it out of me. I can't have that. I need to be lazy wherever I feel like it without pressure to achieve.


So some girl tried to setup a Friendster account using my yahoo email address as the address it was registered to. I deleted it the first time it happened. The second time she created her Friendster account, I changed the profile to clearly point out to her friends that she doesn't know her own email address. Oh, and I changed the password on the account.

Sometimes to communicate to oblivious people, I'm obliged to embarrass them.

Gregsta'

Office Translations

A real email that was sent around this evening at the office from a head-honcho:

Fellow Employees,

Over the last few months it has been difficult to understand what everyone's arrival and departing times are at the office. Some seem to vary on a daily basis. A reminder for everyone that office hours are from 8:30 to 5:30. Flex hours are understandable at times, but if you are adjusting from these, please communicate to those you are working with. We work as a team and if a team member is missing, a client calling can get frustrated or they can't contribute and be a resource for others. We are more creative as a team so, please communicate to others when you will not be in the office.

Thanks

Translation:

Recent Grads,

Just because you get assed at the bar on a Tuesday night doesn't mean you can come into the office on Wednesday at Noon without anyone noticing. Please do whatever it takes - Alcoholics Anonymous, Hair of the Dog or "Sober-up Juice" - to ensure that you're here on time.

And for God Sakes, don't try to bail early so you can beat traffic out of downtown. We all have to suffer the incompetence of the city planners. Get used to it. If you don't like it, can I suggest a job with a company that will stick you in a tiny cubicle and keep you chained to a time card system?

That's what I thought.

Thanks

Translatingly,
Gregsta'

Deep Thoughts without Jack Handy

Back when I was a kid, I always thought the funny part about "Deep Thoughts" was the name of the author, not the content. Jack Handy sounded like a euphemism for masturbation. Puberty was hard on me. Huh huh. Hard. I also couldn't help but laugh whenever someone asked me if I wanted Cream Cheese on my bagel. Mike Judge must have based Beavis and Butt Head at least partially on me.

Being oblivious to the news is a wonderful thing. I didn't know that two bicyclist had been hit on Interstate avenue (apparently one of which died). I didn't know that the voters have been bombarded here in Oregon with commercials about Measure 49 (land use) and Measure 50 (cigarette tax) that amounted to a shit flinging contest and FUD campaign.

Interestingly enough, it does appear that the land-use measure won by a landslide (much to the chagrin of the idiots who think it's their right to turn their farmland into suburban wastelands) and the cigarette tax appears to have been defeated. Just goes to show that big business vs. grass roots is still a formidable competition.

Measure 49 was put together largely by clever lawyers and urban boundary advocates who studied how they got snowed with the old Measure 37 (which requires that the state either compensate land owners for lost revenue due to zoning laws or allow them variances). They did a good job of shooting back a clever little bill by means of Measure 49 and addressing every possible question that would come up and ensuring it's passage.

Measure 50 was defeated by the tobacco companies that instilled FUD in voters with their "Constitutional Amendment Precedent" argument (which holds little water IMHO).

Now, for all I know - by the time they count the votes all over the state, they may find that 50 did in fact pass. It's fairly close.

What disturbs me is that we appear to have close to 30% voter turn out. That's pathetic in every sense of the word. Anyone who registers to vote should do so. Vote by mail is as easy as it gets, folks. We even waited to the last minute and dropped our ballots off at the elections office this evening.

That's it for tonight. Going to bed.

Votingly,
Gregster

Decrypt

I dislike it entirely when I have emails I can't make sense of. It grossly magnifies how little people understand about what they're in charge of. It's particularly frustrating when I'm expected to respond "quick and to the point". How do you pull of "quick and to the point" when you're given a steaming pile of jibberish to respond to? For example:

Original Email:
Please provide numbers of for computer purchase for 100 people because we have 90 at the begin of the year projecting 2008 need for no big growth possibly and breakdown the cost by employee.

Response:
Leave your checkbook and 3 signed blank checks. Know that everyone will be able to do their job and we'll still make a profit. Attached are several contacts I would recommend getting in touch with: A great English tutor and a Business coach.

Humoringly,
Gregsta'

Down?

I don't believe it! I post a link to Gooch's website - and my overall hitrate went DOWN! What the hell? I thought I had Google all figured out. What a crock of poo. Steaming poo.

That's really okay, though. I'm not sure I want people browsing my blog out there in the wild. In fact, I might start requiring visitors to sign up first before viewing my blog.

And Now, Some Worthy Content...

It was bound to happen: Burnout. I slept so hard last night, that I actually feel refreshed today. This is the first time I've sat in front of a computer all week and not had the overwhelming urge to browse BoingBoing or Slashdot appearing to look busy to the unknowing. When the going gets busy at the office, things start dropping from my plate fast. Particularly when folks are lined up at the IT department with immediate needs that can't wait for a simple entry into the task tracking system.

Working for someone isn't as tough as working for yourself. I remind myself of this constantly when considering a life working for myself. At some junction in my life, I will realize my dream to be a Business Consultant. Until that time, I will gleefully plug away at my present rewarding job. Even when it gets crazy and busy, I'm reminded of how fortunate I am to have this job that allows me most weekends off, consistent pay (notice I didn't say 'great' or even 'fair'), flexible schedule and ample vacation.

Much of my life these days is working. It's the transition between the Summer after High School and Retirement. College was work. Working while I was in College was work. My day job and business are both work. When I retire, I will sell my business, collect my 401k and live a modest life without getting up to go to work every day. I will instead spend my time reading all the great novels I didn't read while I was working, traveling the world in search of the perfect bottle of wine and enjoying all the time I can with my kids and their kids.

Whoa. Did I really just look out into the future more than 2 weeks? I feel funny now.

Retiring-when-I'm-102ingly,
Gregsta'