Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Kim Kardashian NAKED

Over on goochonline, there are naked pictures of Kim K. I joked about re-posting on my website just to see if it would raise my readership. I wouldn't ever stoop so low as to repost something to Gooch's website... Never. I might use some careful Kim Kardashian naked type keyword search technique, but I would never post porn on my website. Kim Kardashian naked in Playboy. Wow. Who would stoop so low to keep mentioning Kim Kardashian nude in an unreleased issue of Playboy? That's just wrong to keep referring to Kim Kardashian without any clothes on from the unreleased issue of Playboy.

Strangely, when I ran it by Bets', and she thought it was a great idea to post some porn on my website - perhaps it might bring another reader to my site. Lord knows the 5 reading it now must be bored to tears.

Since I didn't want to offend Mom (one of the devoted readers of The Domino Effect), I figured it would be best to simply link to Kim Kardashian rather than to actually post the picture.

NOTE TO MOM: Don't click any of the links in this post. It's terrible, disgusting porn that should be burned.

Rating Checkingly,
Gregsta'

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

And now, a break!

Neglected again: The Domino Effect

I have been leaving this website to grow cob webs. Overworked, mostly. Uninterested in spending any time at the keyboard after a 10 hour day at the office, toiling over everything I've had to deal with.

Politics are starting to creep back into what I do at the office, so my stress level is a little higher than normal and I'm taking more Ibuprophen (for the headaches) and Tagamet (for the heart burn). I'm sure my doctor will have something to say about this...

Off to move a printer...

Gregsta'

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Can't Get No Satisfaction

... out of software.

Just tried some blogging software from Firefox to perhaps making posting a blog quick and easy. Ha! Those things never work. Now I know.

Working my ass off this week. Taking a quick blog break before diving back in. Big Halloween party on Saturday at our house.

Back at it,
Gregsta'

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Why I hate Computers

Once upon a time, I could get things done on the computer without waiting for the second coming of Christ.

It seems like every time I go to use some function I've never used in a program before, I'm subject to find out it doesn't work. Case in point: I went to backup my entire iTunes library to CD (a function right off of the File Menu) as I'm transferring over to a new laptop. Wouldn't you know it? Boom - error 261. All the forums say "You need the latest version to fix this". Fine, I can do that.

I just finished installing the newest version. It took 10 minutes to complete. What the fuck? iTunes used to install in under a minute. Oh, and you know what else? The fuckers make me reboot before it will work correctly. There's another 10 minutes on top of that.

I fucking hate every single last one of you goddamn software engineering pricks. You can suck my balls and like it. News flash: Nobody likes to wait around while your inefficient installers do their shit. We don't like rebooting. Catch a fucking clue and fix it shitheads.

Don't want to jinx it, but it looks like the update may have fixed it.

I feel better now. The world is a little more cynical.

Pissingly,
Gregsta'

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Sunday, Oh Sunday!

Making for Breakfast: $15
Coffee from Mexico: 30 pesos
The look on your girlfriends face when breakfast is on the table Sunday Morning: Priceless

Loungingly,
Gregsta'

Thursday, October 18, 2007

A whole new meaning...

All of a sudden, "I got assed last night" begins to make more sense:

Liquor Store reportedly somewhere near Boston.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

I don't post much

...but you knew that.

I had a great idea for a blog, but it escaped me. I seem to recall I was driving home from downtown in rush hour traffic. Oh yes, now I remember.

Every day on the sidewalk protruding between the on-ramp from Front Avenue and Market Street onto the Hawthorne Bridge, there is this regular character - a dark black man in his mid-to-late 30's perhaps, donning a white suit, Mickey Mouse ears, coke-bottle glasses and a plethora of props.

Why he puts himself in harms way like this every day is somewhat of a mystery. Perched atop a stool precariously studious of his battered music stand, he entertains the crowd of drivers rushing to get on the bridge en-route to the grocery store, apartment or home. What's perhaps most profound about this arrangement is the obliviousness of the reception.

This man puts his talent out there for everyone to see. Since his audience is moderately captive and insulated, he may never hear the laughing, jeering or amazement coming from drivers (except perhaps the few with the top down). How does he go on not knowing if anyone cares or appreciates what he does?

Perhaps this is the power of a healthy self-esteem. Maybe the sneers roll of his back. It could be that he assumes everyone who drives by is inspired or lightened up a little by his act.

About that act. Onlookers are greeted with waving (courtesy of a giant Mickey Mouse glove), trumpet playing, some child's toy that grows from a very small globe into a large globe when tossed in the air (you'll have to see it yourself to believe it). It's peculiar at best. One can only surmise that he's playing in the road.

Yet, we all look in awe. His quick, 10 second appearance in my windshield calms me down a little from the torture of circumnavigating downtown Portland. Perhaps he knows this? Maybe he figures a little kids play on the side of the road might remind people that there's more to life than being pissed off in traffic.

Maybe I read into it too much, but I honestly believe that perhaps our white suited black friend knows something we don't. Something much deeper than the meaning of life.

Then again, he's probably retarded. Nevermind all of that.

Prosingly,
Gregsta'

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Slim Me

Apparently you can loose weight just by taking a picture of yourself!

Certain HP digital cameras now offer a slimming mode that makes the subject in the shot skinny.

I bet you won't find this camera anywhere than the US.

I bet McDonalds stock went up the day this was released...

Fattingly,
Gregsta'

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Floor Accomplished

I hate it when people just talk about what they do in their blogs. Where's the candor? Where's the philosophical musings?
Then I realize that the 4 people who read this blog just want to know what I've been up to.

I finished my floor in the living room. It looks really nice and the cat piss smell is gone. Kitty Shelby went to the vet yesterday to ensure that it wasn't a UTI. I'll hear back from the Vet today as to the results. Exciting, ay?

Big Halloween party coming up in a few weeks. Got to get the house put together and ready for the onslaught of ghouls, gremlins and trolls. There might be a few people in costumes, too. :)

Gregsta'

Monday, October 8, 2007

Trained

I felt like a European commuter today.

Today was a take-the-train-to-work day. I worked out of my office in Seattle and spent an inordinate amount of time on the train (8 hours to be exact). I've done this a number of times now and it's not so bad. I'm really tired by the end of a day involving 370 miles of travel. It's even worse when I drive.

Over the weekend, my good pal Nate assisted me in laying down new pergo flooring in the living room. It's about 70% done at this point. Should look real nice when it's all done. The timing is perfect as we have a Haloween party coming up at the house in a few weeks. Spooky.

To Beddingly,
Gregsta'

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Balancia

Once again, I neglected my blog. I'm a douche, I know it.

Owning cats is weird. It can go one of many ways. The damn creatures have a damn mind of their own. The minute they think you're not looking - BAM - pee on the carpet. Drives me up the wall. I'm trying a new technique of urine removal. I think this one may work (borax and water).

Many folks have been asking me all sorts of odd questions lately. You'll be entertained by this:

Question: My computer says "Hard Drive Failed". Is this bad? I need to fix this right away, from a remote location for a meeting in 10 minutes.

Answer Given:
It may be bad, but we won't know until we complete some troubleshooting steps.

What I really wanted to say:
Let's see - did we really need to ask a question like this? You known damn well that a Hard Drive is the part of your computer that stores everything, including the OS it runs off of. Hard drives don't just magically spring back to life when you press a special key combination, bozo. You're screwed. Shit out of luck. Fucked. Try plan B. No plan B? Should have planned better.

Question: Why isn't this thing running faster?

Answer Given:
That's awful. Let me see if I can find what the culprit is. Boy, I've never seen this kind of slowdown before! This must be frustrating!

What I really wanted to say: Are you fucking kidding me? You get a fucking choice - be patient or shut down your programs using a bunch of fucking memory and system resources. Do you really need 5 different 100+ MB photoshop files open at once? What's this? iTunes? Outlook? Reboot and repent, fucker.

Question: My Outlook doesn't work offline. Help! I need to write emails offline! What should I do?

Answer Given: Start archiving your email and then IT will assist you with offloading it to the network. Then, we'll run a quick recovery on your Outlook to make offline folders work again. Don't worry! This won't take long!

What I really wanted to say: Look you email-hoarding freakazoid - it's not my fault your a compelte failure at personal information management. Oh, they didn't teach you that in school? Perhaps you should have kept your junior job, jack ass. Just because you can't manage your time and are "too busy" for this, doesn't make it my problem. I'd like to see the look on your face when you thrown in the slammer for speeding because you were "too busy" to drive the speed limit. Innocent animals die because of you.

Vent-o-matically,
Gregsta'