Gift Cards - The new Currency

Let's be honest. We all love being handed cash and told "spend it however you like." Spending is what any corn or cornflake raised American loves to do. The messages from retailers fill our heads and lead us on in our Lemming-like quest to consume.

Alas, a new currency has arose as the new black in gift giving: Gift Cards. These clever little plastic (sometimes paper) drafts give you the right to spend a predetermined amount of US Dollars at a predetermined retailer in a predetermined amount of time (that's right - most of them expire eventually!).

What a great idea! Get someone a gift card for their favorite restraunt, home supply store, electronics store or online music retailer! It takes all the potential shame out of not getting someone the perfect gift. All you have to know are simple attributes about the person you're giving to - Do they like to eat? Do they own a house? Do they need a new electronic widget of some kind? Would they enjoy buying music online?

Okay. This is where my value system may conflict with yours. Viewers discretion is advised.

Gift Cards are about as thoughtless, weak and irresponsible as you can get.

Thoughtless because you can't take the time to get to know someone well enough to figure out what they might like or accept the fact that you don't have a goddamn clue.

Weak because you fear the disappointment of someone not loving your gift more than their first born child.

Irresponsible because $5.8 billion will go unspent by consumers this year by means of gift cards. Why? Because cards get lost, unused and eventually expire.

I've got a great idea! Why not give people small gifts from the heart. Heck, why not make something yourself. Why does everything have to be purchased at the store? Be creative rather than consuming.

If you can't think of something that someone would like, give them cash. That's right, cash. For all you know, that might help them get through the tough times - like buy lunch or groceries - things they really need. Think of cash as a US Mint Gift Certificate - Good ANYWHERE in the US!

Let's stop giving $5.8 billion a year in profits to the big box retailers in exchange for some flimsy plastic cards that never get used. Let's stop treating cash as a bad gift. Let's write checks for those loved ones in far off lands that we just don't know what to get for.

Does this mean I'm going to go off on anyone that gives me a gift card in the future? Not likely (unless they've read this blog). I'll spend it and enjoy spending it. Will I buy any gift cards for people? Not anymore. Cash seems appropriate if I don't know what they would like.

Next time...
The first day back to work
Vacation is over tomorrow morning at 8:30am.

Ventilated,
Gregsta'